


and it looks so very much like me

by Rethira



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, The Velvet Room (Persona Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:57:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17685656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira
Summary: felix faces him, leans down and murmurs, “i don’t mind if you call me goro, amamiya-kun”(the velvet room has a new attendant)





	and it looks so very much like me

**Author's Note:**

> title from pj harvey's [who will love me now](https://youtu.be/pHRwWvOgcHU) which is honestly iconic akechi

“welcome,” he says, smiling, “to the velvet room”

 

* * *

 

the master does not often call felix to the velvet room. indeed, the master does not often summon any of felix’s siblings to the velvet room. elizabeth says this is because she knows when she is needed, that it is the duty of an attendant to predict these things. margaret says that of course the master need not summon her. when felix asks, theodore says the master has never needed to summon him, but that their sisters often seem to know when theodore is needed even before theodore does

 

felix wishes to ask his younger sister as well, but lavenza has duties to attend to – presumably she also simply _knows_ when she is needed

 

(elizabeth and theodore do not get summoned any more. they do not speak about it)

 

so felix does not concern himself overly much with the velvet room. of course it is interesting, and he looks forward to visiting it. but there is other work to be done behind the scenes, and this, felix feels, is his true calling and purpose; to ensure the smooth running of the velvet room, and the satisfaction of the master’s many clients

 

oh, felix does not doubt that one day he will be called upon to attend the velvet room, as all his siblings have before him

 

but for now… for now felix is happy

 

* * *

 

lavenza returns home one day. she settles in her armchair, opens her book and props it on her knees. all of the pages are blank to felix’s eyes, and perhaps also to his little sister’s, because she nods and says, “it seems i am no longer needed”

 

theodore pats her head, and elizabeth says they will throw a ‘party,’ but lavenza does not seem distressed. but even so, felix smiles at her and asks, “should i make pancakes?”

 

“of course you shall,” elizabeth commands, without waiting for lavenza’s reply. “theodore! go forth and collect pancake ingredients!”

 

the pancakes that felix makes are somewhat rubbery and a touch too sweet, even for him, but lavenza still tells him they are good

 

“where did you learn to make these?” margaret asks, delicately slicing hers into pieces

 

felix smiles lightly. “oh, i must have read about them in one of theodore’s cook books,” he lies

 

* * *

 

on a particular day each gregorian calender year, elizabeth and theodore leave the velvet room. margaret fusses over them, and worries the entire time they are gone, but they leave anyway

 

felix does not ask why. he does ask, “does the master not mind?”

 

“no,” lavenza says, “our master is very kind, and very grateful”

 

felix does not ask to whom. he does ask, “where do they go?”

 

lavenza closes her book and hugs it to her chest. she smiles. “of course they go to visit the great seal”

 

felix does not ask what the great seal is. he feels he should know

 

when they return, theodore’s eyes are red and he is carrying elizabeth’s shopping. elizabeth is smiling as she announces that she has brought gifts for everyone

 

“here,” she says, shoving a small grey box into felix’s hands, “that person had these made for us”

 

felix does not ask who _that person_ is. he does ask, “what is it?”

 

elizabeth waves her hand airily. “oh, you know,” she says, although felix doesn’t, and wouldn’t have asked if he did. “theodore, don’t put that there!” she’s gone before felix can get a proper answer

 

the small grey box has an oblong device inside. it lights up when felix touches it. there are words trapped inside it. it asks, _what is today’s date?_

 

felix does not ask. there are many things he does not ask

 

he is not very familiar with the gregorian calender. but felix finds the date _10/06/XX_ very pleasing to his eyes

 

* * *

 

the device – elizabeth calls it a ‘phone’ – connects felix to the world beyond the velvet room

 

it is unlike the velvet room. perhaps that is the least of the things felix can say about it, but it is true

 

felix finds this world that he has never seen, this world that is solid and staid and _empty_ , felix finds it achingly, _disgustingly_ familiar

 

* * *

 

there is a place felix finds. it is painted in red, in black, and in white. there is a small box at the top, with larger writing than elsewhere

 

it reads: _well, i guess this is it. thanks everyone for your support but this is the end. from today i’m closing the phansite for good. thanks for the memories – m_

 

felix feels-

 

it is not an emotion he should be familiar with. what use does felix have for it, here? here where he is loved and needed and wanted (here where he loves and needs and wants and wants and wants)

 

but felix can name it nonetheless. it coils in his chest, an old and uncannily familiar feeling, clawing its way up his throat

 

_anger_

 

* * *

 

the place, the _phansite_ , may be closed but it is not deserted. it is not abandoned

 

there is a part of the _phansite_ called ‘requests’

 

the list of requests carries on far, far beyond the capabilities of felix’s phone. each and every one of them begs for the so-called ‘phantom thieves’ to steal another person’s heart. some are snide. some are sincere. some are polite, some impolite. some seem to be a challenge, a test, a declaration of disbelief. some are simply a cry for help

 

and felix wonders, what does it mean for a heart to be stolen? what do the thieves gain? what does the victim lose? why? why why why?

 

felix leaves his own request on the _phansite_

 

_please_ , he writes, _steal my heart_

 

* * *

 

felix wakes one day and knows

 

the master is already in the velvet room. it is dark, colours muted further by the lack of lights. felix cannot pick out the details of the room, yet

 

the master seems surprised to see felix. “how… unexpected,” he says, folding his hands together. he sounds pleased

 

the velvet room brightens, and reveals that felix stands upon a stage. he and the master are to one side, and the velvet curtains are still closed. the curtains rise (and rise and rise and rise) and beyond the stage stretches an auditorium that stretches far beyond the limits of felix’s sight. all of the seats are filled. an ocean of yellow eyes stares up at the stage

 

the audience of shadows stands and cheers, as felix’s client finally makes his way on stage

 

felix steps forward. “welcome,” he says, smiling a perfect smile, eyes crinkled, “to the velvet room”

 

* * *

 

felix’s client does not look at him. he had stared at first. dark eyes beneath dark hair, hidden beneath mask after mask after mask – he had stared at felix unabashedly, until felix’s master had spoken

 

“welcome back,” the master had said, and felix’s client had snapped his gaze away from felix and towards the master. he had looked… relieved

 

he had walked past felix to sit across from the master, and had not paid felix the slightest attention since

 

“where is lavenza?”

 

felix pretends not to hear. his sister’s name on _his_ client’s lips makes something twist in felix’s throat. _jealousy_ , he identifies it, and finds he is not surprised to feel it around his client

 

the master chuckles. “it seems she is no longer needed,” he says, “but you need not worry. your new attendant is quite capable. perhaps you should introduce yourself”

 

although it is phrased as a suggestion, felix knows it is not. he pivots on his heel, bows again and smiles a perfect and brittle smile at his client. “welcome,” he repeats, “you may call me felix”

 

his client’s face is a mask. even his eyes are shrouded. he says, voice barely more than a whisper, “amamiya ren”

 

but felix knew that. he had known since setting eyes upon him. felix has never seen amamiya ren, his client, before. he has never heard his name. he has never known him at all

 

and yet, felix has known him forever

 

felix smiles. “i look forward to seeing you again, amamiya-kun”

 

* * *

 

lavenza is curled up with her book, leafing through the seemingly blank pages. theodore is using his ‘sewing machine.’ margaret is… somewhere. elizabeth claimed to be cooking, when felix had glanced in on her

 

felix is holding his phone. it is more difficult to work it while wearing gloves, but he finds himself reluctant to remove them. he is on the _phansite_. there have been two more requests since his. someone had written him a message. it had been uninformative, and suggested that his request was unwelcome

 

felix had not replied

 

he runs the edge of one finger over the raised glass front of his phone. it has gone dark. he can see himself, reflected on its surface. he looks like his siblings. he can look at himself and see elizabeth, theodore, margaret and lavenza. he can look at himself and see someone else

 

perhaps that is what amamiya ren had seen in felix’s face. perhaps he had seen lavenza. perhaps he had wanted to see the real lavenza, and not the pale imitation in felix’s face

 

he had not wanted to see felix. he had not wanted to even look at felix

 

there is a feeling in the back of felix’s throat. it feels like acid. it feels like fire. it feels like _hatred_

 

felix swallows. the feeling does not disappear. he clears his throat, just enough to attract lavenza’s attention. “sister,” he starts, her name cloying and catching in his throat, “how do you become closer to someone?”

 

* * *

 

elizabeth is the one who suggests leaving the velvet room. she does it away from their siblings, away from their master. she says not to tell margaret. she says the master won’t mind. she says it is faster than giving out tasks to be completed, that felix will _never_ become closer with his client if that is all he does

 

felix has never thought of leaving. felix has never wanted to leave before. the world beyond the velvet room is-

 

it simply _is_

 

but it contains amamiya ren

 

it contains _amamiya ren_

 

felix had been a fool for never leaving before

 

* * *

 

amamiya ren has a key to the velvet room. he does not need a guide. the door alone is guide enough

 

but even so, felix stands beside the door, waiting. he does not have to wait long. amamiya ren walks towards him, across the warped tiles. he is masked, without as well as within, dressed in familiar black and red. he walks with purpose, with confidence. he laughs to an unseeing and unseen companion, and felix _burns_ to hear it

 

(how _dare_ he-)

 

felix smiles for amamiya ren. he does not mean to. it simply happens. he moves smoothly, mechanically, welcoming amamiya ren back to the velvet room, _his_ velvet room

 

“you’re here awfully late, amamiya-kun,” felix says

 

amamiya ren pauses. “yeah,” he agrees. he walks past felix, seats himself before the master. they talk quietly together. amamiya ren looks intent as he listens to the master, focused

 

what, felix wonders, could the master be saying that is so fascinating? surely amamiya ren recalls the functions of the velvet room from before, _before_ , when he was lavenza’s, and not felix’s

 

(but he is felix’s now, lavenza is not _needed_ but felix is, amamiya ren _needs_ felix)

 

the stage’s audience cheers. a new persona has been born from amamiya ren’s soul, has become a new mask for amamiya ren to wear. it takes a seat in the audience, becomes another pair of gleaming yellow eyes, and felix steps forward to name and record it in the velvet room’s guest book

 

as amamiya ren rises to leave, the master stops him. “although you have forged many strong bonds, there are yet more available to you”

 

the master must gesture towards felix as he speaks. amamiya ren’s gaze is like a brand, raking over felix’s back. felix glances over his shoulder, catches those dark and veiled eyes. they are grey, they are yellow, they are red. the moment stretches. amamiya ren’s eyes do not move away

 

_yes_ , felix thinks, _look at me. look_ only _at me_

 

“i remember,” amamiya ren says, and leaves without speaking any further

 

* * *

 

_please_ , felix writes, again, _steal my heart_

 

* * *

 

amamiya ren wakes in the velvet room. it is not a gentle awakening; he startles upright, rocking in the chair across from the master. his eyes are wide, his breath fast. he clutches the arm of the chair, white knuckled

 

felix touches his shoulder. amamiya ren flinches from him as if he’s been struck, the look he throws felix _venomous_

 

“don’t touch me,” amamiya ren says, and felix suddenly discovers he wants nothing more than to touch amamiya ren, his face, his neck, his chest, his arms, his wrists, his mouth. to have amamiya ren stare up at him and _want_ to be touched

 

“ah, you’re speaking to me,” felix says, lightly. “i worried i had offended you somehow”

 

amamiya ren looks down and away. “no,” he says. felix waits. the master waits, patiently overturning the card before him. _justice_ , reversed. “you look like someone i knew,” amamiya ren murmurs, voice little more than a whisper

 

“oh?” felix responds, unable to quash the sudden _need_ to know more about this person, to know how they have left such an impression upon _his_ client

 

but amamiya ren just sighs, “yeah,” still gazing at the _justice_ card before him

 

* * *

 

it takes the master gently chiding amamiya ren a further three times before he speaks to felix again for any reason other than recording his newest personas. he looks awkward, rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding felix’s eyes. he looks… small somehow, fragile. like felix could shatter him in a moment, if he wanted

 

amamiya ren licks his lips. it’s quick, kittenish. the tiniest flash of pink against red lips. “do you,” amamiya ren starts, still rubbing his neck and looking at a point somewhere over felix’s shoulder, “do you have any requests?”

 

“a request?” felix asks, as if the idea shocks him. he pretends to think, hand on his chin. “haha, i’m afraid you’ve caught me unprepared for this,” felix says, and then, as if the idea has just occurred to him, “perhaps you could take me somewhere? i’ve seen precious little of the world beyond the velvet room, so it would be quite educational”

 

amamiya ren looks stricken. he looks shocked. but he _looks_ and in the end, isn’t that what matters? his eyes meet felix’s. felix wants him to never look away

 

at amamiya ren’s continued silence, felix pulls his face into a mask of disappointment and allows concern to tinge his voice as he asks, “unless it’s not possible?”

 

“no,” amamiya ren says instantly, “i mean- yes. of course it’s possible.” his expression turns… _mulish_. “where would you like to go?”

 

the smile comes unbidden to felix’s face. he confesses, truthfully this time, “i don’t know! where would you recommend, amamiya-kun?”

 

“uh,” amamiya ren says. felix can see him racking his brain for ideas. “i guess… shibuya? i- will i need to get you or…?”

 

felix only has the vaguest idea what ‘shibuya’ is. but he nods placidly and says, “i’ll be waiting!” he smiles easily, closes one eye and says, “ah, but please don’t make me wait too long, amamiya-kun”

 

amamiya ren nods, and leaves as fast as his feet will carry him

 

* * *

 

_are you there?_ felix writes. _i would like you to steal my heart, please_

 

felix’s heart goes un-stolen

 

* * *

 

the world begins to brighten as amamiya ren approaches. theodore would make something romantic of it, undoubtedly, but felix has no such foolish notions. it is simply a consequence of amamiya ren’s power, the power of the wild card

 

the wild card bestows powers felix can only dream of

 

it’s entirely unnecessary, but felix waves and calls, “amamiya-kun!” as amamiya ren approaches. the world seems to unfold behind him, the blue mist of the velvet room rolling back to reveal a dimly lit alley, piled with strangely familiar contraptions and objects. beyond amamiya ren first one person appears, then another and another and another, like an endless stream. the ‘sky’ appears in a rush, a darker blue than felix is familiar with, studded with distant lights

 

it is a world felix has not seen before. he knows he has not. elizabeth and theodore have spoken about it, felix’s small phone has shown him things and places he could not have dreamed of. but standing here with amamiya ren’s world stretching out before him, all felix can think is-

 

_i have been here before_

 

“hey,” amamiya ren says, snatching felix away from his thoughts. he’s dressed quite differently than usual, his long black coat exchanged for a shorter white one, his mask replaced with a pair of large glasses that reflect the light. his hands are shoved into his pockets, and he’s developed a distinct slouch. “did you… think about where you want to go?”

 

“no,” felix admits, tugging at his gloves and smoothing down his waistcoat. “i trust your judgment, amamiya-kun. anywhere you would like to take me would be quite enough for me”

 

amamiya ren makes a noise felix easily identifies as _aggravation._ it’s the loveliest sound felix has ever heard. he takes a phone of his own out of a pocket, lights it up and stares at it for a moment, then mutters, “the diner should be fine….” he shoves his phone back in his pocket, glances up at felix’s face and says, “this way,” walking towards the end of the alley

 

felix pauses for a moment. caught between the velvet room and amamiya ren, pinned in place like a butterfly

 

but the moment breaks, and felix takes one step, then another and another as he follows ren out into the world

 

* * *

 

felix is not unaware of the looks he receives. even in the short walk from the velvet room to this ‘diner,’ he attracts a large amount of attention. comments about his hair, his eyes, his clothes, his _skin_ \- “he looks familiar, doesn’t he?” someone asks, just within felix’s hearing

 

“we’re here,” amamiya ren says, pushing open a door and motioning for felix to enter before him. as if their roles were reversed, and ren were felix’s attendant

 

“thank you,” felix says, smiling reflexively. a girl squeaks behind amamiya ren, clutching her bag to her chest

 

ren frowns. he crowds forwards, into felix’s space, the door swinging shut behind him and-

 

the touch to felix’s shoulder is unexpected. even, it seems, by amamiya ren himself. he almost withdraws, fingers twitching against the velvet of felix’s waistcoat. but then his face and resolve hardens and he urges felix to turn around, to head out into the ‘diner’

 

“let’s get a booth,” ren murmurs, hand dropping from felix’s shoulder. he brushes past felix, heading towards an out of the way corner. felix follows, helpless to do anything else, and slides into the seat across from ren. their knees touch under the table. when a woman, evidently one of the diner’s attendants, approaches, ren asks for two coffees and nothing else

 

“i’ve heard of this coffee,” felix offers. “a bitter beverage, traditionally served hot. it can be prepared in a variety of different ways, although i confess i have never had the opportunity to try it”

 

ren fiddles with his jacket. “you’ll like it,” he says. he pauses. “probably”

 

felix smiles, just a little. “i’m sure i will,” he agrees, and then, “are you enjoying yourself, amamiya-kun?”

 

amamiya ren looks down at the table. he shifts audibly on the faux leather seats. eventually he asks, “does it matter?”

 

felix chuckles. “you do always manage to surprise me, amamiya-kun,” he says, “and of course it matters. i would hope you enjoy our meetings as much as i do”

 

any reply ren was going to make is waylaid by the arrival of their coffee. amamiya ren makes a brief exchange with the diner’s attendant, obviously stretching the interaction out. he wraps his fingers around the cup before him, taps it idly

 

felix raises his own cup to his lips. “ah,” he says, and both ren and the attendant look at him, “i didn’t expect this coffee to be quite so hot.” the attendant laughs, and finally leaves, forcing ren’s attention to shift back to felix

 

“did you burn your tongue?” ren asks, his voice amused. some of the tension has left his shoulders, and he’s looking at felix _properly_

 

“no,” felix admits, “not quite. i believe i’ll wait before attempting again. it would truly be a shame if i could not taste this coffee after you acquired it for us”

 

“i guess,” ren agrees. “it’s not the best coffee in tokyo, but we’d have to go to lebl-” ren catches himself suddenly. he bites his lip, then laughs, mirthlessly. “but it’s still pretty good,” he continues

 

felix can be kind... when he wants to

 

so he lifts his cup again, and blows on the liquid, the action coming to him quite naturally. it’s still hot, but just cool enough that felix doesn’t flinch to bring it to his mouth

 

ren is watching him drink

 

felix puts his cup down. he raises his eyes to meet ren’s. “you were quite right, amamiya-kun,” he says, “i did enjoy that coffee. although,” felix taps his chin, “i must confess it wasn’t _quite_ how i expected it”

 

ren takes a sip of his own coffee. “well,” he starts, “what did you expect?”

 

“do you know i’m not entirely sure,” felix laughs. “but there was definitely a flavour missing.” felix thinks intently for a moment, then suggests, “something… spicy?”

 

several emotions flit rapidly across amamiya ren’s face, before he finally seems to settle upon _anger_. he grits his teeth, and, with all the reluctance of a man walking to the guillotine, asks, “akechi?”

 

for some reason, the name is familiar to felix

 

“who?” felix asks, and gets to watch as ren visibly closes himself off, hides himself behind a mask again

 

ren smiles. “it doesn’t matter,” he lies

 

* * *

 

the master tuts when amamiya ren next attempts to fuse his persona. the justice card appears, still reversed, and with it an unexpected persona

 

“i’m afraid it did not turn out as we expected,” the master says, sounding somewhat reproachful

 

amamiya ren just nods, accepting the throne persona back into his soul

 

* * *

 

elizabeth sits in her armchair, legs hanging over the arm, and commands, “felix, tell your big sister how your date went”

 

theodore exclaims, “felix had a date?”, and lavenza closes her book with a _snap_ , sitting up attentively in her seat

 

margaret puts down her cup of tea. “elizabeth,” she says, “please tell me you have not been encouraging felix to abandon his duties”

 

before any argument can build, felix says, “it was quite pleasant. he took me to try coffee.” felix pauses. “he hasn’t invited me again”

 

elizabeth gasps, and theodore leaps up to drag felix into an unexpected but not unwelcome hug. margaret seems torn between comforting her beloved brother and chastising him for allowing himself to be distracted away from the velvet room

 

lavenza, perched on the edge of her chair, says, “he will invite you again, felix. i know he will”

 

* * *

 

_i must say_ , felix writes, _you’re not very proactive phantom thieves_

 

* * *

 

it is day when ren next appears, awkwardly stopping before felix and mumbling something felix can’t quite hear

 

“pardon?” felix asks, manners and smile impeccable

 

ren sighs. “do you want to go out or not?”

 

_satisfaction_ curls warmly in felix’s chest. “of course,” he replies, “thank you for the invitation. where should we go this time?” ren shrugs. “perhaps just a walk then?” felix suggests. “i’ve seen far too little of your world”

 

ren nods, his entire bearing reluctant

 

not ten minutes later, a strange woman tugs at felix’s sleeve and asks, “aren’t you akechi goro?”

 

_that_ name again. felix shakes her unwelcome fingers off and forces a polite smile onto his face. “i’m afraid you have the wrong person. do we really look so alike?”

 

“you do!” the woman insists, “you think so too right?” she asks ren, like she has any right to speak to him

 

ren swallows thickly. “yeah,” he agrees

 

felix decides, apropos of nothing, that he hates akechi goro

 

“i’ll take your word for it,” felix replies, jovially, before turning and walking purposefully away

 

ren has to run slightly to catch up to him. it feels _good_

 

they do not talk for the rest of their date. can it even be called a date any more, felix wonders, if amamiya ren is clearly thinking of someone else?

 

_oh_. a thought occurs, and felix feels magnanimous all of a sudden

 

“it’s alright, you know,” felix announces. ren looks so miserable, small and pathetic. he looks at felix, confusion plain on his face. “it’s alright,” felix repeats, “i don’t mind if you see him when you’re with me”

 

he _could_ of course. but, he’d thought, what does it matter if amamiya ren is thinking of someone else? what does it matter if he looks at felix and thinks of akechi goro? what does it matter if he thinks of akechi goro first, and felix second?

 

_he is still with felix_

 

and isn’t _that_ what really matters?

 

* * *

 

the master is pleased. “a new persona can be born from the sea of your soul,” he tells ren. the justice arcana is still reversed, but it doesn’t seem to matter

 

the shape of the persona that forms is… _familiar_. but as it coalesces any familiarity disappears; where felix half expects white, it is black. blue becomes red, red becomes green and gold becomes silver

 

“i,” the persona says, standing upright, black cape billowing in an artificial breeze, “am robin hood”

 

amamiya ren looks like he’s about to be sick

 

* * *

 

before ren leaves, felix calls out, “amamiya-kun”

 

it’s a small kind of miracle when ren actually stops. the only sign he’s listening is the slightest tilt of his head, back towards felix

 

felix crosses the short distance between them, taking his phone out of his pocket. “i thought perhaps we should exchange contact details,” felix explains, “i’m curious to hear what you have to say. you seem to be a wealth of information.” amamiya-kun has that same expression again. the one he always _always_ wears when he’s thinking about akechi goro. “in return, i’ll teach you a little more about persona fusion, maybe even find you some rare ones. i believe that is a fair trade-off for you?”

 

amamiya ren slowly takes his own phone out of his pocket. felix watches as ren types in his details. he gets a brief but clear glimpse of ren’s contacts

 

felix cannot prevent his smile at the sight of akechi goro’s name, and the words _last online_ _over 3_ _years ago_ beside it

 

* * *

 

_steal my heart_ , felix writes, _please_

 

_or should we play a game? shall i steal your heart first?_

 

* * *

 

_coffee tomorrow?_

 

_i’m afraid must decline_

 

_oh_

_sure_

_another time_

 

… _just kidding_

 

_goro_

_no. sorry_

_felix_

_sorry_

 

* * *

 

elizabeth throws a party that evening. she won’t say what the occasion is, and felix is not particularly in the mood for it

 

“but you _have_ to be here,” elizabeth insists, refusing to let felix leave, “at least make us your pancakes”

 

lavenza cries over felix’s pancakes, claiming they’re the best she’s ever had, and that sets theodore off as well

 

“good night, little brother,” margaret says, hugging felix far too tightly for the occasion, while theodore hiccups behind her

 

* * *

 

felix is a little surprised that ren does, in fact, turn up the next day

 

“you want to get that coffee?” he asks

 

“of course,” felix replies, “just a moment”

 

ren doesn’t take felix to the diner, or to any other cafe. instead he leads felix down into shibuya’s underbelly and onto a ‘train.’ “it’s late,” ren says, collapsing into one of the empty seats. it explains everything and nothing

 

when the train’s voice announces _yongen-jaya_ , felix gets up automatically, ren a beat behind him. felix follows ren obediently, up and out of what must be yongen-jaya’s underbelly, and onto slightly less cramped streets. it’s dark, and there are few people around. they pay no attention to ren, striding ahead of felix, and felix himself only gets the odd glance

 

ren stops outside a small cafe. it has a sign hanging in the door that reads _closed_. above the door another sign says _leblanc_

 

ah. the place ren said had better coffee

 

“are we allowed to enter?” felix asks, peering in through the dark windows

 

“i live here,” ren replies, digging a key out of his bag and unlocking the door

 

“in the attic,” felix says, confidently

 

ren’s voice is strained when he says, “yeah well. sorry to be attic dwelling criminal trash.” he brushes past felix and inside, turning on the lights and dumping his bag on a table before heading to the coffee making apparatus

 

felix doesn’t know what to say to that. he follows ren in and sits at the counter, in front of a small collection of books. “have i offended you, amamiya-kun?”

 

for a long moment the only sound is the rattle and whirr of ren making coffee. a delicious smell fills the room. it’s somehow nostalgic. if felix closes his eyes he feels… at home

 

“no,” ren says. he places a cup of coffee down in front of felix. it’s quite possibly the most delicious thing felix has ever smelt. “have a taste”

 

felix lifts the cup and takes a delicate sip

 

“this is the most delicious thing i have ever tasted,” he says, staring in wonder at the coffee. all previous beverages pale in comparison. _everything_ pales in comparison

 

“i knew you’d like it,” ren says, looking at felix like he’s someone else entirely

 

later, ren takes felix upstairs. he has that same expression on his face, looking at felix with… _something_ in his eyes

 

“i don’t mind,” felix says, that same magnanimity as before filling him near to bursting. ren looks up at him, a question plain on his face. felix faces him, leans down and murmurs, “i don’t mind if you call me goro, amamiya-kun”

 

the expression on amamiya ren’s face is breathtaking. he looks like someone he trusted has shot him. felix could happily look at that expression for all eternity

 

“wh-what,” ren stutters, leaning away from felix

 

but felix just moves in closer, crowding into ren’s space, one knee on ren’s bed. “you can call me goro, amamiya-kun,” felix repeats, “if you want to.” he shrugs, as if it doesn’t matter to him in the slightest. “i remind you of him, don’t i?”

 

this close, felix can see the bob of ren’s throat as he swallows. he chokes out, “yeah, but-”

 

felix stops him with a gloved finger against ren’s lips. “shh now. no buts. i know you miss him,” although felix can’t imagine _why_ , “and you care for him,” you dear, sweet _fool_ , “so of course i don’t mind if you call me by his name”

 

ren swallows again. his eyes are wide behind his glasses. felix leans just a little closer, and ren falls back on his bed. “felix,” he says, and even though it’s the first glorious time ren has _ever_ said felix’s name, felix gently shushes him again

 

“haha,” felix laughs, “try again, amamiya-kun”

 

the minute ren gives in is plainly visible on his face

 

“goro,” he breathes

 

* * *

 

“i lied earlier,” felix says, lips brushing the delicate skin of ren’s throat

 

“oh?” ren asks, or perhaps simply groans

 

“yes,” felix murmurs, agreeably. “i fear i must rescind my earlier statement, ren-kun. your coffee is _not_ the most delicious thing i’ve ever tasted.” ren’s pulse jumps beneath felix’s lips, and felix smiles. “ _you_ are far more delicious”

 

ren’s breath hitches. “goro,” he sobs, and felix doesn’t even _care_ because it’s not akechi goro pressing amamiya ren down against his mattress. it’s not akechi goro kissing amamiya ren, it’s not akechi goro swallowing his moans. it’s not _akechi goro_ who has amamiya ren writhing against him

 

it’s felix

 

and ren can call _goro goro_ as much as he wants. it won’t matter. it won’t change anything

 

it will still be _felix_ , and nothing akechi goro can do will _ever_ change that

 

* * *

 

_i win_

 

* * *

 

felix knows this is a dream

 

he is in the velvet room. the master is at his table, ren sitting across from him. there is a lone card on the table, and felix knows it will be justice reversed, even before ren turns it over

 

“it’s still reversed,” ren says. is felix imagining the disappointment in his voice, or is it truly there?

 

the master ignores him. his smile grows even wider. “a new persona has been born from the sea of your soul,” he says. the audience jumps to their feet, applauding

 

ren protests, but the mask is already forming. for a moment it’s a black, full faced helm with glowing red eyes, and oh _so_ familiar-

 

a persona forms, and felix _knows_ its name

 

“loki,” he whispers, and loki laughs

 

* * *

 

felix wakes early the next morning, ren still beside him, he can feel loki and robin hood lurking beneath ren’s skin

 

_mine_ , felix thinks, wrapping his arm tighter around ren’s waist, _you’re all mine_

 

* * *

 

ren’s voice is soft, quiet. but there’s a thread of urgency to it that rouses felix from his sleep

 

“listen,” ren hisses into his phone, staring down at something in his hand, “there’s something you all need to know. just come over.” a beat of silence, and felix can see the little frown forming between ren’s closed eyes. “no. no. it has to be today. as soon as possible.” an irritated noise, that frown deepening. ren opens his eyes, catches felix staring. he startles and says, “look, i’ve got to go. he’s awake.” he hangs up his phone despite the sudden squawk coming from it

 

there’s a shifty, guilty look on ren’s face as he comes back to the bed, hands behind his back

 

“talking about me?” felix teases, reaching up to curl his hands around the back of ren’s neck. ren looks so conflicted as felix tugs him down, but his expression melts into something else as felix brushes their lips together. “should i be worried?”

 

the look in ren’s eyes is impossibly tender. “no,” and his voice catches as he says, “goro,” eyes filling with tears. he squeezes them shut, hides his face against felix’s shoulder and sobs

 

it would almost be believable, if not for ren carefully putting felix’s phone back on the bedstand

 

“shh,” felix says, rubbing ren’s back and drawing him closer, benevolence spilling from his mouth like poison, “i’m here. i’m here”

 

* * *

 

“dude, what the _fuck_?!” is the first thing felix ever hears sakamoto ryuji say

 

“you have such interesting friends, amamiya-kun,” felix says brightly, crossing his legs

 

ren ignores him. of course he does. felix doesn’t know why he expected otherwise. he picks up felix’s phone, brazen now that he has _back up_ , like felix would-

 

“futaba,” ren says, tossing felix’s phone into her waiting hands. “he left his browser open”

 

“wow, amateur mistake much,” she mutters. under her fingers felix’s phone lights up, red and black and white filling the screen. “huh,” she says, “so _you’re_ the guy asking to have his heart stolen”

 

felix taps his fingers against his knee. “is that so surprising?” he asks

 

“well,” the woman introduced as takamaki ann starts, rubbing her arms, “you are a resident of that weird room, right? like morgana was? shouldn’t you already know all this stuff?”

 

“no,” felix replies, smiling pleasantly

 

“leaving that for a moment,” niijima makoto interrupts, “does he even _have_ a heart?”

 

felix chuckles, adjusting his tie. “getting right to the point, i see, niijima-san.” niijima makoto looks at him sharply. “unfortunately, i can neither confirm nor deny. i was hoping that you would be able to tell me”

 

“he does,” ren says, very quietly. he turns his phone so everyone else can see as a small red square expands to fill the screen. “felix,” he says, and his phone _dings_

 

* * *

 

“welcome,” he says, smiling, and throwing the doors wide open, “to the velvet room”

 

“welcome,” felix says, turning to face his guests, “to my home”

 

 

* * *

 

felix’s palace looks like a small and unassuming building. the outside is run down, shabby, for all its walls are the velvet room’s familiar deep blue. there are scrubby dead plants outside the front door, the letter box filled with unread post

 

felix looks around dubiously. “are you certain this is _my_ heart?”

 

“i must confess, i had expected something quite different,” kitagawa yusuke says

 

“it _is_ a bit unlikely,” okumura haru agrees, looking around as if she’s never seen anything like it. felix is certain she hasn’t

 

“hey, why’d we bring him with us?” sakamoto grumbles, pointing his thumb at felix. “d’you all forget what happened in futaba’s palace?”

 

felix clicks his tongue. “if you think i’m going to let _you_ wander around _my_ heart unsupervised-”

 

“i’m not sensing any shadows out here,” futaba interrupts, “looks like the treasure’s inside.” she tries the door handle but it just rattles uselessly

 

“perhaps you should knock first,” felix suggests. his face hurts from smiling. futaba gives him a _look_ , but obediently raps against the door

 

there’s a scuttling noise and a thump from behind it, and then silence

 

“wow, who’d’ve guessed,” futaba mutters, “looks like nobody’s home”

 

felix folds his arms. “haha, i suppose i had better leave the thievery to the masters”

 

ren peers in through a darkened window. “gor- felix,” he chides, softly

 

the cat, morgana, twitches at ren’s feet. “wait,” he says, loud enough for the other thieves to hear, “did you just call him _goro_?”

 

“no,” ren says, instantly

 

there is an _immediate_ chorus of, “oh my _god_ ,” and, “ _really_ , joker?”

 

“it’s okay,” felix says, “i don’t mind if ren calls me goro.” ren’s ears are red, how cute

 

“ugh, that just makes it _worse_ ,” takamaki ann mumbles. “the sooner we can get this over with the better”

 

niijima makoto nods. “agreed”

 

* * *

 

after breaking in through a window, ren leads the thieves and felix through a large kitchen. it is far, far larger inside felix’s palace than the exterior suggested. although the thieves dart between cover and peer carefully around corners, no shadows appear

 

ren insists they maintain caution. he’s in the costume felix recognises now as his phantom thief outfit, as are the rest. only felix himself is still wearing his normal clothes

 

“it means you see us as enemies,” morgana says, with a meaningful glance towards ren

 

“it doesn’t matter,” ren insists. his usual confidence in this costume is gone, replaced with something like nervousness

 

_felix_ did that. it feels so good

 

out of the kitchen stretches a corridor. it is dark, lit only intermittently by lights like bright yellow eyes. morgana shudders, tucks himself behind takamaki’s legs

 

“are they… shadows?” kitagawa asks, leaning up against ren’s shoulder

 

“of course not,” felix snaps, grabbing ren’s hand and dragging him out into the nearest pool of light. felix glances back over his shoulder. “see?”

 

“ok, _wow_ ,” futaba says. “he’s right though, no shadows here. just a super creepy corridor!”

 

the corridor seems to get narrower as they progress along it, passing several doors, including the locked and bolted front door, until they reach a door that’s just slightly ajar

 

niijima makoto nudges it open, and it swings wide to reveal a dimly lit living area. when no shadows immediately jump out at them, the thieves creep inside. ren tugs his hand out of felix’s grasp, strides over towards the dining table surrounded by overturned chairs. felix follows, half a step behind, looking around curiously

 

on the table there is a small frame. it has been placed face down on the table. ren reaches out-

 

_don’t!_

 

ren picks it up

 

* * *

 

_you look like your mother_

 

* * *

 

felix opens his eyes as the ringing recedes from his ears. someone else’s hands slip from his shoulders as felix tries to reorient himself. he’s crouched on the floor, hands over his ears and back bowed, and his legs are wobbly as he tries to stand. someone grips his arm, hauls him upright as felix blinks the spinning lights from his eyes

 

“ren,” he says, _demands_

 

ren’s red red gloves fill his vision, ren’s hands cup his face, tilt felix’s head up and he gazes into those deep, dark and shadowed eyes. “i’m here,” ren says, voice hardly more than a whisper

 

someone clears their throat. “if you two’re gonna start making out i’m outta here,” futaba says

 

“ _oh my god_ ,” sakamoto huffs in passable english

 

ren drops felix’s face as if he’s been burnt. “we weren’t,” he snaps, brushing past felix and past the others

 

felix takes a deep breath and composes himself. he straightens his tie, smooths his waistcoat and tugs up his gloves. “you know,” he says, voice light and airy, “the more you deny it, the less believable it becomes, ren-kun”

 

ren looks back at him. _oh_ , felix thinks, _i made you angry_ , and even _that_ feels good

 

“let’s just go,” ren says

 

* * *

 

a new door has become unlocked back the way they came. a faint whispering comes from behind it, the door outlined in light shining from within. sakamoto kicks the door open, evidently hoping to take any lurking shadows by surprise

 

but the open door only reveals a room packed wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling with televisions

 

on each and everyone of them is a young man wearing felix’s face

 

“it’s akechi,” niijima makoto says, her voice nearly drowned out by the voices from the televisions. no. _the_ voice from the television. felix’s voice. _akechi goro’s voice_

 

felix goes to stand before the nearest television. the man with his face, akechi goro, laughs. he smiles. he lies, “of course, i _am_ an ace detective,” and winks for the camera

 

felix _despises_ akechi goro

 

the next thing he’s aware of is the television sparking and crackling around his fist. he gingerly pulls his hand back, past jagged glass shards, and brushes his glove clean. he turns back to the phantom thieves, summons a wan smile, and asks, “shall we continue on?”

 

* * *

 

“are you sure?” ren asks, as they clamber out onto a fire escape. felix gazes down at the far distant ground. it doesn’t fit with the small, shabby and most definitely _ground floor_ home his palace had started out as

 

“we’ve come this far, haven’t we?” felix asks, following the others up the rickety stairs, through a conveniently open window and into a gloomy bedroom

 

“fucking _finally_ ,” sakamoto mutters as a shadow drops from the ceiling. he rolls his shoulders, marches forward to stand beside niijima makoto. “c’mon, show us your true form, you piece of _shit_!”

 

the shadow laughs felix’s laugh. akechi goro’s laugh. it bows, flamboyant, before it rips its mask off

 

robin hood stands before them, proud and gleaming in the darkness

 

* * *

 

_kaa-san is sorry goro-chan_

 

* * *

 

robin hood falls to his knees when he loses. his voice echoes in felix’s head, familiar and unfamiliar, the briefest whisper of, _i have failed you_ , before he disappears into dust and shade

 

it would be so easy to leave. to say, _i’ve changed my mind_ , to make ren and his phantom thieves just _leave_

 

but the words are caught in felix’s throat, trapped behind lips that feel sewn shut, weighing down a leaden tongue and filling his mouth with bile

 

before they leave the room, kitagawa yusuke, perhaps unaware of horror movie conventions, goes to tug back the covers on the lone bed

 

felix stops him with a touch to his elbow. “i don’t think you want to do that, kitagawa-san,” felix comments, pleasantly, always pleasantly always perfectly always perfect perfect perfect-

 

“come _on_ guys,” futaba shouts from the doorway, “let’s get a move on! the treasure’s not far now!”

 

* * *

 

there’s a door at the end of the next corridor. both futaba and morgana agree that they can sense the treasure behind it

 

there is a small plaque just outside it. it says, _akechi goro_

 

the door is locked. it refuses to open, even when ren makes felix try it

 

felix pretends not to hear niijima makoto ask morgana, “what does it mean if he’s locked _himself_ out of his treasure room?”

 

“i don’t know,” morgana does not say, “but it can’t be anything good”

 

* * *

 

there is a lift just before akechi goro’s room. it is made entirely from glass. there is a shadow in there, but it simply nods and bows to felix

 

“akechi-san,” it calls him

 

the lift whisks them up, into the highest reaches of felix’s palace. the doors _ding_ and the shadow bows, and felix marches out into the velvet room

 

* * *

 

the master is absent, so felix takes his place. ren’s heels click against the stage as he tentatively follows felix. he stops behind his chair, and the air of nervousness just pisses felix off now, so felix kicks ren’s chair out and snaps, “sit down, won’t you?”

 

ren grunts as the chair collides with his knees, but obediently sits down across from felix. felix leans forward, elbows on the table and fingers laced together like _he’s_ the master. “welcome,” he says, smiling, “to the velvet-”

 

“don’t,” ren says, and he sounds so _tired_ , “just don’t”

 

felix snorts, kicks the table leg and rocks back in his chair. “well, amamiya-kun? what are you waiting for?” felix chuckles, a brief and ugly noise

 

amamiya ren’s eyes are big and soft and sad. “felix,” and his name sounds like ashes in ren’s voice, “we can still leave, if you want to”

 

a _real_ laugh, loud and full bodied tears out of felix’s throat. he can’t help it, bending over, head between his knees and damn near _cackling_ , voice cracking and disgusting and, “oh, amamiya-kun,” felix is near sobbing with laughter, “ _that_ is why i _hate_ you”

 

“felix-”

 

“no,” felix snaps, laughter dying in an instant. “it’s too late, amamiya-kun, far _far_ too late to go back.” he leans back in his chair, weariness settling into his bones. ren looks, oh, so beautiful, tired and hurt

 

and _that_ is why felix _adores_ him

 

(“hey, ren-kun,” felix murmurs, voice scratchy, “call me goro again?”)

 

“huh,” futaba says, still standing in the doorway, “another door’s unlocked”

 

* * *

 

there is a feeling of oppressive dread emanating from behind the door. felix sets his shoulders against it, holds his head high and pushes the door open. it creaks ominously, like some cheap horror movie, but the _fear_ building in felix’s stomach is quite real

 

the room seems cavernous. it’s dominated by a desk, that felix goes to stand in front of, spine ramrod straight

 

loki coalesces in the throne like chair behind the desk. he looks, for a moment, like a bald man in tinted glasses. felix clenches his fists against the sudden urge to reach out and wrap his hands around loki’s throat

 

loki stands up and stretches. he holds out his hand in invitation, _join me join me join me_ , echoing in felix’s head

 

ren fires a warning shot over felix’s shoulder. the bullet embeds in shido masayoshi’s desk, narrowly missing loki’s fingers

 

_so that is how it is then_ , loki whispers into felix’s mind, slowly withdrawing his hand. a grimace cracks his face open, a noise that could hardly be called laughter fills the room, and loki rises into the air. he snaps his fingers, and the lights blaze into life, illuminating countless portraits hung upon the walls

 

they are portraits of the dead

 

they are portraits of the people akechi goro murdered

 

(isshiki wakaba and okumura kunikazu, and _everyone_ in between)

 

“it is to be a fight then,” loki says, his voice a discordant harmony in felix’s ears

 

felix nods, and draws his sword

 

* * *

 

ren stands between felix and his thieves like a shield, like felix needs one

 

like felix _deserves_ one

 

( _you should have just abandoned me_ )

 

takamaki asks, just loud enough for felix to hear, “are we _sure_ we’re doing the right thing? felix-san seemed… happy, before”

 

“this is _bullshit_ ,” sakamoto replies, never one for subtlety

 

“he said it himself,” futaba says, “we’ve come too far to go back now”

 

ren moves closer. his hand brushes against felix’s, carefully careless. their fingers tangle, the slightest and tightest squeeze they can manage, and felix _wants_ -

 

( _i don’t want to go_ )

 

“we’ve arrived,” kitagawa says

 

the door labelled _akechi goro_ stands open, dark and inviting

 

* * *

 

it is a bedroom, a child’s room. despite the darkness, it feels welcoming. peaceful. there is a window, moonlight shining through the gap in the curtains, casting everything in silvered-grey

 

it is a small room. there is a stack of worn books piled beside the futon, a battered featherman poster pinned above it. a framed picture propped against the wall, a young and smiling woman, holding a child that looks very much like her

 

none of it is real

 

felix kneels by the futon, touches the lump hidden beneath the covers. “goro,” he says, “it’s time to wake up”

 

* * *

 

_(no, please! please! i don’t want to, i_ don’t want to! _)_

 

* * *

Akechi Goro wakes up.

* * *

There is a small spider spinning a web between the beams in Amamiya’s attic. It’s quite fascinating. Such a small existence, so confident in and of itself. If Goro got up, he could crush it without even trying. The spider would never see its doom coming.

In that respect, Goro is very similar to the spider.

Goro turns his head. His doom is currently sleeping, slouched in a rickety chair, glasses almost falling off his nose. There are deep bags under his eyes, and a frown between them. He has a smear of something – curry sauce? – beside his mouth. His clothes look too rumpled for this to be the first time they’ve been slept in, and his hair looks like it’s grown since Goro last saw him.

He is the most endearing sight Goro has ever seen. His heart aches just from looking at him.

Goro really does hate him.

Goro really does love him.

Goro sits up, shuffles to the edge of the bed. He reaches out, brushes the hair from Ren’s eyes like he’d wanted to since the day they met. Ren’s frown deepens, becomes what could even be called a scowl, clearly waking up.

“Felix?” he mumbles, blearily, reaching up to rub his eyes.

“Haha,” Goro laughs, although it sounds more like a croak, “try again, Amamiya-kun.”

The minute Ren realises is plainly visible on his face.

“Goro,” he breathes.

* * *

“Goro,” Ren says, smiling, “welcome home.”

**Author's Note:**

> notes:
> 
> \- felix's velvet room uniform is a black dress shirt (sleeves rolled up), a velvet blue waistcoat over the top and a blue+black striped tie. he also wears black gloves and black dress trousers. he is, technically, an usher within the velvet stage  
> \- ren's velvet room has changed bc his previous prison was a false representation made by the false igor  
> \- ren's robin hood and loki are actually their reversed forms! reverse personas were a concept used in p2, and usually had reversed strengths/weaknesses etc  
> \- elizabeth and theodore are in contact with aigis and mitsuru, who's the one who developed phones for VR residents  
> \- the phantom thieves are active again bc they're doing a job for mitsuru (yes she's everywhere bc i love her)


End file.
